It is Saturday afternoon. I have worked today and then I was walking my dog and cleaning the bathroom. Today I have heard some bad news. My stepfather can not hear suddenly and he is returning to Zaprešić to visit his physician. I hope that it will really turn well for him.
Week has gone quickly. My bike is serving me well. It is quite handy. The only problem is that it is heavy and as I am clumsy I am full of bruises. On the train sometimes there is no one to sell me ticket so some days I have a free rides. Work is ok. Now that I am more in the warehouse I really have become familiar with the goods that we are selling. I have earned extra pizza today and it was delicious. Later in the afternoon I have had some grapes and now it is time for coffee.
I drink less and less coffee not because I want to. The truth is that I have no time for it. I do not miss it at all.
My life is quite simple now. Work, walking the dog, playing games, going to cinema, cleaning the house and making friends during long walks with the dog. Summer will be soon over I am looking forward to art classes and some acting again.
Sometimes I really feel lonely, and sometimes I feel like a underachiever. I managed to quit Valium only every second day. Whenever I work in the morning the night before I can not sleep and then I take valium. From 4 pills every evening now I take two and there is some difference. My brain is quicker and I get upset more easily. Work is difficult these day. To learn the goods I worked the last week for three days in warehouse. I lifted up to 20 kg. My body could do that. The thing is that I have very strong body. I do have sometimes problems with legs but with loss of weight the pain went away.
There are some plans for the winter. I will go again to the acting group, and art group as well. Next year if everything is as it should be I will walk Camino in July or maybe April. For years I have this wish to walk the French route. I need to find time and money to do it. I strongly believe that I will do it.
I have started at 7 am, and now with the Worlds championship in athletics is the end of my day. Psychiatrist said that Valium is now optional for me. She gave the opinion that I am able to drive motor vehicle. Now I have to go to my family physician to give me the note with all of mine diagnosis, and then to specialist who will consult other specialists to approve me the driving. I know that driving is a privilege and I would like to have this permission in the future as well. I cooked my lunch by 9, took my brother’s car and went to hospital, ate lunch, took bike and went to train. Than I cycled to work, worked all day, came home, showered, ate watermelon and peach and took my dog for a long walk during which I bought bread and finished with my dinner minutes ago. I made my shopping list and I am ready for bed.
Tomorrow I will not have such busy schedule, but the point is to sleep as much as possible to get some rest.
Type soon. maybe even tomorrow.
I have valid driving licence but in a two weeks I have to renew it. Today I go to see my psychiatrist to get confirmation that I am able to drive. I do not think that there will be a problem about it but this all renewal thing is quite expensive.
The animals woke my quite early in the morning. They need to eat and they do not allow me to spend extra time in bed.
My dearest friend came to visit me two days ago. I was in such a hurry that day but everything turned out fine. I was so glad to see her. She came with her fiance and they were admiring food and water here in Croatia. They claim that the food in UK is tasteless.
They would love to come back but there is job issue. There is always some job issue.
About the job I am quite satisfied with mine. The chef is fair and the colleagues are nice as well.
It is really early. The night was so hot and I have slept until 5.30 AM. I did the beauty routine. fed fishes, a cat and get some shower. I have checked my bills, and in a few minutes I am going to plan my shopping. Yesterday I had the big discussion with my mum about saving money. Somehow I am always close to zero. I indulge myself. I am going to holidays, do hair, feet, going out. I did renovate the bathroom. A lot of my money was invested in house for flooring, façade, doors. Somehow I am always able to earn some money but I am always able to spend it all.
The problem was because I have bought a bike. A folding one that I can carry on the train. I need it for commuting to work because my work is few kilometers from train station. I am not ready to buy a car because car costs a lot of money. She is telling me that I am old for the bike, that cycling is dangerous, and all sort of stuff. I disagree.
I do not feel old. I think that bike is great idea, and if I keep working I might buy myself a car but only with cash. No more credit.
In the heat of discussion yesterday I missed my train station and I walked for half an hour which is good for me.
The only reason why I got up early in the morning was to go to the hairdresser to renew my image. I sat there for two hours and results are satisfying. My day is so full. I work for 8,5 hours, I travel an hour and a half, I have to cook clean, iron, shop. I am on my own and I like it. I go for a walk with my dog for at least two hours every day. I met my dearest friend the other day. I am in touch with other people. I have to renew my driving licence. I went to see my dentist yesterday.
With lowering of haldol my thinking abilities has improved. On the other hand I sleep like a baby.I gain some weight, but I do not mind. I play games almost every few days.
The biggest moment of my day is when I walk my dog. Rocky is young and very friendly. Not aggressive at all. He likes children, dogs and people. He looks a bit like me. Small but strong. stubborn but likeable.
Tomorrow is again early morning so type soon.
It is funny how things are. Yesterday my boyfriend has had night off and My old friend came and visited me. I have prepared some snacks. We went for a long walk. We were talking, laughing. Her life is a big puzzle for me. I could not connect and comprehend all this names. She has some similar issues as I have. She had a traffic accident and the consequence was inorganic psychosis. She is an architect. She deals with her condition without meds and sometimes her life is really a mess. On the other hand she sorts all thing out. She is like a cat with nine lives. She always survive but her way is not my way. I would not like to live with such uncertainty.
She is kind and nice person, but very clever and open. She has a big smile and real joy for life. I have proudly presented the place I live especially my new bathroom. She liked it. She liked the new square in Zaprešić. We are ice-cream.
We met a lot of people and lots of dogs. Croatia became champion of the world in water polo. It was really nice Saturday, Today it was day for ironing, cooking and sleeping. It is hot and I have had my beauty sleep until now.